2010-02-25

A few observations

I saw three different squirrels on north campus today that were busy getting clumps of leaves in their mouths and running up oak trees. They were lining knot holes with these leaf clumps. This means that we are in for some cold nights. Or it could mean that they are doing a squirrel version of a flash mob in support of the coeds who are against coal. Either way, the squirrels were so into their jobs that they ignored the peanut butter crackers I put out for them.

And speaking of peanut butter crackers, why do all of these little salty cholesterol bomb snacks like cookies, chips, and the like, why do they all have to be registered with the Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture? What gives some official in Pennsylvania the authority to determine how I choose to load up my coronary arteries with plaque? This sounds like modern day carpet baggers to me.

I am irritated by two emerging window stickers that I have been seeing more and more of recently. The first type appear in the back glass of SUVs. These are the same SUVs that sport wreaths and ribbons during Xmas. The stickers are a male figure representing the father, a female sticker representing the mother, and one or more child type stickers, the kids. To provide further irritation, some variants of this silliness include little kitty stickers, doggie stickers and sometimes even the names of all of these people along with the pets. Who gives a damn? I know I don’t. Another variant of this smarm substitutes little Jesus fish symbols for the people symbols, indicating that the entire family mindlessly votes Republican I suppose.
The other type of sticker is the generally round and ornate sticker that says “In Loving Memory......” and goes on to list birth and death dates. When its my time to go, I hope my family and friends memorialize me with a keg party and not with some cheap little sticker on the back of a dirty pickup.

As long as we are thinking about memorials, the ultimate silliness in roadside memorials can be observed out on 316 as you head into Athens. This cross, plastic flowers, and American flag display was put there to memorialize an Oconee County deputy who was hit by a car and killed in the line of duty. That was truly a tragedy in all seriousness. What makes the memorial on 316 so bizarre, is that it is not where the accident took place. It was where said deputy preferred to run radar to catch speeders on 316. It has nothing to do with the accident scene. I have observed Oconee deputies, in uniform and in a squad car, pulled over at the memorial, cutting the grass around the memorial with a push mower. Go figure.

Lastly, when is this damn winter ever going to go away?

2 comments:

Polusplagchnos said...

Why not get the stickers, and put two women or two men together? Or three men and two women, or three women and two men? Parody is sometimes an effective rhetorical strategy.

Tim said...

OK, I saw another one Saturday which was even more ridiculous... I was filling my truck up and at the pump in front of me was a SUV with two big and two little Apple stickers on the back glass. Now, I use Macs pretty much exclusively, but come on.....